A man dies and it is judgement day. "I am afraid you have not made it to heaven," a voice minces bureaucratically in his ear. "But you can, as a special favour, have a choice of hells".

"What do you mean, a choice of hells?" "You can go to capitalist hell or communist hell".

"Ok, fair enough, but what’s the difference between them?" "Well, the capitalist hell has fire and brimstone and torture." "And the communist hell? That has brimstone and torture and fire".

"I don’t understand. They sound exactly the same. Which should I pick?"

"If I were you, I’d choose the communist hell."

"Why should I do that?"

"Well, you know what these communist places are like. Sometimes there’s no fire, sometimes there’s no brimstone, sometimes there’s no torture………"

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