N&Q3 – TrueStories
BIG QUIZ (LBC)
Presenter: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.
Contestant: Lepers.
QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Presenter: We’re looking for an occupation beginning with ‘T’.
Contestant: Doctor.
Presenter: No, it’s ‘T’. ‘T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango. ‘T’ for Tintinnabulation.
Contestant: Oh, right . . . (pause) . . . Doctor.
DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Presenter: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don’t know, I need a clue.
Presenter: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Presenter: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Presenter: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Presenter: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.
Presenter: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Presenter: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Presenter: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Presenter: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
Presenter: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Presenter: In traffic, what ‘J’ is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Presenter: What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey, goosey?
GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.
QUIZMANIA
Presenter: We’re looking for a word that goes in front of ‘clock’.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Presenter: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.
Presenter: He makes cakes .. .
Contestant: Kipling Street?
FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Presenter: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word – CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Presenter: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it’s not in Scotland, is it?
THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
Presenter: I’m looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter ‘e’.
Contestant: Ghana.
Presenter: No, listen. It’s an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Presenter: What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Presenter: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.
JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
Presenter: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … er . . . er . . . three?
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Presenter: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.
RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
Presenter: What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg’s?
BLIND DATE (ITV)
Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.
STEVE PENK BREAKFAST SHOW (VIRGIN RADIO)
Presenter: What is the name of the French-speaking Canadian state?
Contestant: America? Portugal? Canada? Mexico? Italy? Spain?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Presenter: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Presenter: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico?
DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
Presenter: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Presenter: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
NATIONAL LOTTERY
Presenter: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?
Contestant: Basketball.
NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Presenter: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Presenter: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
